If you See me then you Mean It then you Know you Have To Go.

You know how when you've had a fight or argument with someone, and then your handphone starts ringing? Whoever who calls is in for a death wish (from my point of view) especially if the person calling is the person you were just being pissed off with. That goes the same for text messages. Truly, the icing on a hellish dream.

No wait. I think there is something more irritating than all the above. It is when you pick up the phone and what you hear is either silence or nonsense. It is just the other end trying to gauge how pissed off you are. Really, do we need such crude confirmations? It's amazing how the typed word no longer holds any power of its own. Guess the Internet wasn't as powerful as it seems after all.

What a day! It's been amazingly tiring and full of ups and downs. One whole day at a workshop/seminar at the university is certainly not a picnic. What's more, dinner was a lonely affair and the evening conversations were rather catastrophic.

Ah, I want to update my Messenger 'Block List'.

I want to think properly this time.

I'm wondering, do things like important life events in one's life, happen only when it is convenient to us to have them? They'd think of our classes, exams, etc...?

I've just had a huge project dumped into my hands. It's huge and there's no one else. That's such a shame. Thank Heavens for the people around me though.

Coffee is what I need.

I want back my simple life. Do you see it? Have you seen it? Give it back to me.

Kareshi yo.

Haish. You just made me waste a good ten minutes of sleep time. I was writing a long bombasting letter to you here. But then you go and give me such a cute sms that I just laughed and didn't feel angry anymore (and have to delete the whole message and write a new one since I'm already at this page. mafan).

I don't think the last part of the message was where the message was cute.

The part where it says 'save some for me' is where it's cute. And the 'i kena' too. So you do have certain patterns downpat at least. *whew" At least those two lines saved you a lot of painful and sarcastic words.

I'd love to take a moment however to appreciate a few people.

...

There. Finished appreciating those people. You know who you are. You'll never need to face certain facets of me ever. Its called immunity. I really love all of you for accepting me and then giving me my just desserts, getting your own back and then able to laugh with me in the end. There are so many things I'm grateful for but I'll just keep it where it belongs...out of sight! lol

Ah, as to more questions. I'm going to university tomorrow first thing in the morning. Some idiot's having a meeting. Then I'm driving to Genting. Come seek me out and we'll have a blast in the ghost house...disturbing the ghosts (been there done that?). I'll be staying overnight there so don't worry about not catching me. Ah, no crashing in my room however unless you bring nice food and your own sleeping bag.

I'll be back on Tuesday, mid afternoon I suppose. I hope to have tea then with J? Which reminds me I have to call J and ask if J + 2 wants lunch? Then it's a busy Wednesday at a workshop at the university *duh. as if i would do it willingly out of my responsibilities*.

Thursday looks like a day at A for me. My tag calls for me I believe. Just have to tell the guy J tomorrow. Btw, I heard a-K cancelled on us tomorrow. Can you guess what the a means? Hahahahaa.

Good night everyone from me at 1.30a.m and haven't packed and haven't finished watching my Host Club series. Funny issit, disturbing me the whole night!

It's Over!

The stress (what stress. I didn't even study all that much) is over and done with. I have safely taken my final final paper and I can't tell you how much I look forward to the future three months break (not my fault that my course has no short semester to take).

So while I'm waiting for W to come out of the exam hall (looks like she's going to use the full two hours!) so that I can drop her off at the bus stop, let's review my exam.

Right on top of the list if of course, the paper I just sat for. I am not telling anyone what paper it was because for some unknown reason, I detest people knowing it. Anyhow, I think I bombed something awful on this paper. it's like...I knew everything but the LAST piece of the answer. Just one tiny little bloody important piece. There goes my marks. This is like a horror repeat of my mid-term actually...just that, I managed to score the highest in mid-term so it isn't all that bad I suppose.

Another shocking paper was English (journalists have to sharpen their weapons). It was TOUGH! The lecturer warned us but we didn't believe her. It was IELTS level...definitely. I don't like it! I hope there is no more English subjects in the future (reminds me to go check the course schedule on the intranet soon). I was stumped at some questions in the exam. I couldn't even think of a cock and bull story for the questions (THAT bad).

Ah, the others...I managed to wing through.

Oh, Pengajian Malaysia paper isn't exactly tough. Damn I didn't study so that's why I couldn't even answer easy questions like 'Senaraikan 3 badan berkanun'. Die. Lol. Hopefully I can pass this paper.

Eh, lazy to talk. Damn hungry now.

To my Fallen Butterfly

Sayonara, utsukushii chou

A small tribute to my beloved Butterfly (from my purple velvet handphone cover) that was Lost during the trek I made to the Office of the Evil and Petty People on that faithful day. That very day marks the turning point in my life when I finally accepted that our Country has a bleak future unless something is done to remedy the attitude of our people.

Lost Butterfly by Rurutia

ロストバタフライ ルルティア
(Lost Butterfly RURUTIA)

Butterfly 彷徨うよ　地下鉄は迷宮さ
はばたいても　はばたいても　見つからない　出口

Someday もし君に　そんな日が　訪れたら
思い出して　思い出して　僕は此処にいるよ

幸せの意味はたぶん　心の数だけあって
だけど　それじゃ多すぎて
見失う　僕ら

さあ　繰り返すような日常が
ゆっくり未来変えてゆく
焦るほど絡みつく　夢というクモの糸

君が羽焦がし飛ぶのなら　太陽さえ　届くだろう
美しく　熔ければいい　微笑み　見せながら

Anyway いつの日か　人は皆　別れゆく
それでもいい　それでもいい　君に僕は逢えた

Far away 離れても　幸せは祈れるよ
届かなくても　届かなくても　君の歌を作ろう

生まれた意味は　きっと
死にゆく時　気づける
だけど　それじゃ遅すぎて
彷徨うよ　僕ら

さあ　押し潰すような現実は
きっと君を変えるだろう
変われるから　君は君で　在り続けるのさ

君が声嗄らし叫ぶなら　三日月さえ　落ちるだろう
躊躇わず　ゆくがいい　かすかな光でも...

繰り返すような日常が
ゆっくり未来変えてゆく
焦るほど絡みつく　夢というクモの糸

君が羽焦がし飛ぶのなら　太陽さえ　届くだろう
美しく　熔ければいい　微笑み　見せながら

Like a wandering butterfly in a labyrinth
Fluttering without finding a way out

If that would someday happen to you
Remember, I'm right here

The meaning of happiness is probably
Just a number in our hearts, but
If it's too much, we lose sight of us

Come, these repeating ordinarities
Are slowly changing the future
Hurrying will only weave webs around our dreams

If you could fly with those wings
You could probably reach the sun
They would melt beautifully while you smiled

Anyway, some day everyone will part
And yet, nevertheless, I met you

Even if we're separated, I can wish for your happiness
If it won't reach you, I'll make this song for you

Surely, the reason for our births
Will worry us when we're about to die
But at that time it will be too late
For us to roam about

Come, the crushing reality
Is changing you, I know
But even if you change, you will still be you

If you shouted your voice dry
Even the crescent moon would probably fall
Go on without hesitation, for there is a faint light...

_________________________

Looking on the brighter side however, check out my new chiffon babydoll top! Its ability to be a layer-type clothing is not lost on me and I am pleased with it. It looks excellent with my (okay, correction. My mom's. Though I am holding the jacket prisoner) red suede jacket too.

Ah, another matter, has anyone seen this bag (bottom pic) in RED anywhere? I think it's an old Elle Paris bag but I've fallen in love with it only now (why didn't I go shopping earlier in the year or something?). Oh well, guess I'll never get it. It's called the Elle Be Be Boston bag...just in case. ;)

I am so desperate for a cute bag that I even dreamed of getting one last Tuesday while I was asleep on the sofa. It was like the new Carlo Rino pattern only like the Elle Paris bag size (a little bigger maybe). I was walking with E in a shopping complex when I saw this high end boutique (I just knew it was one in the dream. no arguments please just because I cannot recall a specific name) with gorgeous travelling bags lined up on the upper display shelf. I was ecstatic with glee! I went in and asked the boy salesperson to please get a new one from their storeroom for me. I was practically jumping with joy at finding a bag that suit my hunger for cuteness and practicality. Damn, when my mom woke me up from my sleep then.