I Don’t Have Time To Grow Mushrooms (and a pile of coins)

First and foremost, I’d like to redress the one sen issue. (The least I could do was to to make my opinion about it known)

I did not even write the article that was what the photo was for. I don’t even own a pile of one sens, I only have a few in my wallet-purse (which is normal for most people). In fact, my latest face is one of Chan-el. Don’t believe me? I even got to write, ‘So-and-so-publication-and-desk reporter [insert this blog writer’s full name]...’ That’s a mark of me giving my opinion and THAT is something I am damned proud of because I actually could write my two pennies worth which is not to be taken lightly in a newspaper whose purpose is to publish facts. My experience became a fact. Hah! [This post was written to be published sometime in March because I now sport a different ‘face’ ^^;]

Now, on to mushrooms. They make for a nice ingredient in fried rice, steamboats and Italian menu under appetizers. I have (or had) some growing in my bathroom at my rented apartment bathroom that I share with UncS. Since they scatter orange seedlings, I am going to assume they are not safe for consumption and could be poisonous.

We’re not, dirty people, per se but we both have not been around the apartment for a week or so. Anyhow, ALee told me that these things grow in one or two days. Perfectly understandable if the two of us went home for the weekend and poof! - mushrooms!

I really don’t have time to grow fungus, no matter how it might suit my personality of being a lazy bum whenever I can help it and to demonstrate it I’m going to be productive with my time. I’ll actually post this!

Meme 1 & 2.

MEME 1

1. Does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you?

Yes, I cannot live without that person. Seriously.

2. Do you think you're old?
No, until the day I can walk into restaurants in hotels and eat buffets at half price I am NOT old.

3. Are you afraid of the dark?

No, because I’m very, very bright.

4. Do you like your life at the moment?
Hell yes. If I didn’t like it I’d take immediate remedial steps. What’s the point of living a life I don’t like?

5. Ever talked to someone that was drunk?

*sniffle, sniffle* Li was going on and on and then while I was giggling she said some scary things and I never want to mess with drunk people ever again *breaks down and cries*

6. How tall is the person you like?

165cm.

7. Have you ever lost a friend?

Yes, I have. To idiocy.

8. Did you have a dream last night?

Hmmm, nop.

9. Have you ever crawled through a window?

I would if I ever had a reason to. There is this thing called a door after all…

10. What song are you listening to now?

潘越云 - 痴情不是一种罪过 (Pan Yue Yun – Unreasonable Passion is not a Kind of Crime) Well, I hope I translated that okay? It’s a song from the Plum Flower Saga Trilogy.

11. How often do you talk on the phone?

Pretty often and mostly because of assignments nowadays.

12. How happy do you think you are?

I don’t think, I believe that I am 79% happy right at this moment because I’ve been fed, had entertainment and am catching up on my anime.

13. Are you in a complicated relationship?

My relationships are usually crystal clear. The details however may be fuzzy.

14. Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?

Nop.

15. What did you do last night?

Sleep. Oh, wait. Before that I watched a few eps of Ghost Hound, then continued reading ‘A Dream of Red Mansions’ which I am about to finish for the sixth time or something and then I slept.

16. Name one thing that you can't live without.

Shouldn’t this question be number 2? For preparing a safe dust-free haven for me, my mother and my ATM and guide around KL father.

17. Have you made a prank phone call?

Do I look that bored to you. (Actually, yes. I’m doing a meme for God’s sake)

18. Currently wanting anything?

Yes! I want a new pair of slippers. My old pair sports a broken strap since last week and I’ve been clomping around in heels everyday, all day long.

19. When was the last time you cried?

This morning. The poor poor boy on the television screen just killed two ppl in a horrible accident. How sad. Boo hoo hoo. (Idiot boy)

20. Do you like your hair?

It would be nicer if it were wavy. But I do like my hair, I can get away without combing it in the morning unlike my brother.

21. Relationships or one night stands?

Who’s the other person in question?

22. Last person you text messaged?

P, I think.

23. Have you talked to the boy you like today?

Are you suggesting I’m a paedophile?

24. Are you married?

Yes. My husband’s name is Fujitsu S-Series.

25. Want to get married?

I already am nutcase. Read the above.

26. Last time you hugged someone?

Not too long ago...

27. Favourite month?

December

28. What is on your mind?
Questionnaires should be more fun.

Meme 2

1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
My laptop speakers.

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
Nop! I say this believing the line ‘Giving is not the same as taking’. Well, mind over matter.

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
I’ll take Ian ‘Betul’ because he’s definitely good company. Next on my list would be Jovian M because he looks like he would like swimming and that obviously means clothes off and that would be oh-so-what-I-hoped-for-when-I-thought-of-taking-him-to-this-deserted-island. Third is the captain of the yacht who just happens to be a trained 4 Michelin star chef. He’ll be driving the boat and preparing the meals out of all the good things he’ll find on the island…or just take from the well-stocked pantry on the yacht *shrug*. As long as meals are served on time.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Right now, it’ll have to be Lake Garden. I miss that place.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
It would have to be the one in which I could fly and the reason why I can keep this ability is because I have to work with an international detective/intelligence agency. In the first part, I was on a mission to topple a lusty escort organisation…very nice. The second part I was trying to escape from another supernatural who, because he hasn’t been grounded like me, has been left to totally run wild and thus is obviously rather more ‘keng’ than me. It was so exciting and fun!

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
No. I’m too busy looking at the ground and trying to avoid puddles.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
Panda One. Please, return to me. I cannot lose you. I’m already on Panda Three and it really really hurts to think that I may never get you back.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
I’d go collect the cheque/cash and bank in into my account, first and foremost.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Not a chance.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
(Whoever made this meme questionnaire is a narcissist.) She’s a newly out of the closet girly-girl (remember, it takes courage to come out of closets), a closet ‘siu jie’ (makes for a very interesting denial-type conversations and also horrifyingly funny actions) and is good with dogs (thus, I can make my escape while she stands there and goes “Ooh! Nice dog! Nice d…..!!!! OMFG! IT BIT ME!!!”) .

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
That it mirrors the first half at least 99%. Can you imagine if I had dark skin on my right and light on my left, blue right eye brown left eye…

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
People with zero personality or worse, a very fake almost copied personality. They seem to get it straight from television screens.

13. What is your ambition?
Nothing big, I just want world domination.

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
The middle road. Be subtle when pointing out. I’m not stupid.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My parents. Next to that will be my electronic data.

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Nyon!

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
Closet

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
My laziness. I swear if I could work up the willpower to be more active in every aspect of my life I think the quality of my life would be better.

19. What’s the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
My grandmother didn’t buy anything for my brother when she went Japan in February.

20. What is the best thing you wish to happen?
That my mother would be cured of all those blasted illness and thus she would be more cheerful all the time instead of random times and thus my life in general would be that much peachier because she’ll be in a shopping mood all day long, all year round.

Tag, tag, tag.

Flushed Away

My mornings (when I’m working) are usually similar to one another.

I wake up at about 8.15 while trying to ignore the fact that my alarm has already went off because I always believe in stealing a few extra minutes of sleep. Then it’s some quality eye-rubbing time before I pick up my toothbrush and squeeze some of that delicious toothpaste on it.

Unlocking my side of the bathroom door and stepping into the small tiled bathroom I share with HS, the first thing I do is look around with bleary eyes at the bright morning sun and the pristine, squeaky, just-cleaned...holy COW (or rat).

I saw another pair of bleary eyes staring back at me from inside the toilet bowl. It was bedraggled, dark grey and (quite cute actually) with its front paws resting on the walls of the bowl as high as it could reach standing on it’s hind legs. Half of its body was in the water and the other, obviously trying in vain to scrabble up the smooth sides of the porcelain bowl.

I lifted my eyebrows at it and proceeded to calmly walk back into my room and close the bathroom door. Walking over to HS’s room using the hall outside, I knocked and told him, “The rat that you said you heard walking about on the whatchamacallits outside has fallen from grace and landed in our toilet bowl.”

Oh, goody (or bloody, whichever you see it to be).

Well, good old HS tries to get rid of our pest. I suggested picking it up and disposing of it (okay, I’ll admit it. my actual suggestion was give it to the kitties outside the apartment).

Before you know it, the idiotic creature burrows DEEPER into the water and disappears (into the S-tube where else?).

I’m at a lost and so is HS. Quite frankly, I’ve only dealt with cockroaches, squirrels, a snake (or rather heard of it being dealt with in my old rented house) and lizards. Rats present a whole new horizon to me.

“Let’s flush it.”

It was, after all, the size of two fat pieces of durians stuck together in its pod. It’s probably malleable too. If it’s lucky, it might be the next assistant chief chef at ‘Batu Keras’ Cafe in the next couple of weeks.

It's Like a Game except It's More Real

The sun was blood red, dying, and cast a dull rusty light on the dreary realm. There was nothing left in this accursed land but dust, rock and dried-up vegetation. The sky was overcast with clouds and was a dull red colour from the cold sun that shone above it. It never rained here in this barren rocky land.

We were running for the last time through this land we’d not miss, finally free of the fortress of the demon lord. Our mission had gone well.

Suddenly my vision is assailed by unbidden images and I am forced to stop.

My left eye no longer saw the open of scraggly grass in random patches or my friend running slightly ahead of me, pale blond hair free of restraints. I now saw the back of the demon lord himself, in his tower, leaning over a basin, intent on his map-seeker.

The right half of my vision is filled by what the map-seeker was showing. I immediately see a bird’s eye view of the red realm. I felt like my right eye was looking over the demon lord’s shoulder.

The land is dotted with the monsters and hells of the realm, some as large as a hill and others merely the size of house pets. The creatures are of a solitary nature and thus, are spread out. As with all superior map-seekers, each was labelled carefully with name, rank and duty as if monitored by an invisible being.

Intruders!

The demon was looking for us. His map-seeker moved at a fast but steady pace as it lapped up the miles and came closer and closer to where we were.

We could not be seen. I was confident of this. I believed in my partner’s capability as she in mine. We would succeed.

His lieutenant hails him. The map-seeker pauses and zooms in on the monster who was not far from us. My heart skipped a beat.

The demon lord seems to be listening to a report. Then his map-seeker starts moving slowly in the easterly direction. It passes over us.

Movement from the image seen in my left eye draws me away from the map-seeker. The hulking, shadowy figure bent over the basin was now straightening up and turning slowly.

My vision has never been this sharp. I almost expect him to see my image as well, in the tower with him, standing not too far.

He said something before fully turning.

The vision breaks and I am thrown back into reality.

There are a lot of large-sized rockeries around the small field of dried weed we were standing in. The weed came up to my thigh.

I stood frozen for in front of me, as if conjured by my left eye, was the humanoid dragon-featured demon lord, now fully facing us. The great horn on his forehead, which had killed too many to count, was covered in dried blood and bits of gore.

It was too surreal. I felt despair. I watched as if frozen, as if it were happening to someone else.

My partner, a little to my left and ahead, answered back.

An intense silence followed this. Then, from among the weeds, not ten paces in front of my own booted feet, another me stood up. It was a male warrior form of myself, too real to be fake yet was a fake.

Before I knew it, the warrior crumpled to the ground. Dead in the resounding echoes of the crack of a whip. Screams from my partner filled the air but no one had seen me. I had an inkling why when the blond-haired woman gave me a sideways glance even as she threw herself over the dead body.

~*~

The council met in an underground stronghold, in a cold chamber, darkened everywhere except the centre where it was lit brilliantly in dazzling whites and electric blues.

There were nine of them, sitting in a loose circle around the evolving holo-screen. The screen is constantly flickering, changing and displaying new information but to anyone else not sitting within the circle, it remains fuzzy no matter how hard they stare.

One of the council members, an gigantic radish-like creature with many legs, announced that his wife was arriving. This does not perturb the others, thus I take it as a common occurrence.

They now summon me and I step closer to the circle, stopping just beyond the light’s edge. Random screens start popping in front of my eyes. Graphs, maps, lists of all kinds stack themselves up one atop the other, making it very hard to look at any of the council members. It was enough to give anyone a headache as the information kept coming in and it only increased when I tried to look up.

They sent me out.

In the corridor outside, I stop. My eyesight had turned fuzzy.

I walk down the short corridor, built in the ultra-modern style. It was completely silent and a small arch stood at the end, beyond which I could see a dark stairway coming down. I stop some way from the arch because I felt something to my left and right.

The sound of glass breaking on both sides of me was my only warning before the entire corridor was filled with strange never before seen creatures that fought fiercely with one another as if reenacting some ancient battle.

I knew failure then as I then only noticed a fat white blob in the corner of the corridor next to the arch. It was reminisce of an upright squid except it had very blue eyes that stared out blankly.

There was too much fighting and jostling around me that I could not get any closer to the arch. Beyond, I see someone descending the stairs, the hem of a yellow silken gown moving fluidly. Human. Assassin. Blood. Killer.

She had to be the council member’s wife. Even if I had thrown a projectile or blade towards the white blob, I knew she’d foil my attempt. And even so, my information knew that no blade could pierce the flesh of the strange creature.

The scene shifted back as when I just started down the corridor. Another vision. This strange gift was getting more clearer and more frequent and on enemy territory, I had to be on my guard all the time.

Walking unperturbed, I glided down the corridor with sure, graceful steps. I now feel tentacles reaching out towards me to my left and right. Glancing without pausing in my stride, I now see invisible cylindrical enclosures lining the corridor. The strange creatures were within them, invisible to the naked eye, yet just barely seen when glanced at sideways.

Again the glass started breaking but I was by now more than halfway down the corridor. One of the creature closest to the blob was turning towards it.

Shouting, I lunged forward even as the fighters started pressing all around me. I pull back my right arm and concentrated hard before plunging my hand into the white blob, just a little below it’s close-set eyes.

The feeling is disgusting but once past the outer, almost gelatinous layer, the creature was hollow and I groped about blindly, finally feeling a pear-shaped thing inside it. I grab hold onto this with my bare hand and tug, feeling resistance in the form of a fibre connecting the organ to the body at both ends.

The white blob does not put up any resistance and seemed almost dumb. Out of the corner of my eye I see the yellow silken gown coming down the darkened stairway.

Without another thought, I yank out a bright purple organ, roughly oval in shape and still attached to the top and bottom by fraying purple veins.

It was beating slowly in my hand.

I squeezed it very hard and it bursts, covering my hand with purple slime.

New Year, New Year

Chinese New Year is the best and worst time of the year.

It’s the best because it’s a holiday. Holidays are always the best. Admittedly I did want to continue working this time (and I had a change of heart and decided that bullying my homecoming brother was much better for my health) but all in all, holidays are the BEST.

Worst. Because of the weather. I don’t know if you guys (except you guys who know me well and you know who you are) know of it but I start sneezing horribly in extremely hot weather. And from there, I will inevitably start having a flu and thus, my runny/blocked nose will ruin my day completely.

Oh, there is a second reason why it’s the worst time of the year. The extended family. I’ve nothing personally against them but sometimes I just don’t get how I am in a gene pool with them and we can all be so...er, different. Differences make for interesting conversation but I’m no social bugger most of the time (though my line of jobs requires me to be a somewhat ‘sociable’ and ‘approachable’) and thus, I hate making small talk with them.

Erk, actually, the truth is that it’s not the small talk, it’s the unsaid words and the definitely weird attitude I get from some of them that just irks me and makes me feel like smacking them.

Overall however, I love my family. Oh, so Happy Chinese New Year it is then.

Today’s mood: Morning wake up mood Very Happy, After Chatting with As mood Irritated, Upon Completing a New and Insignificant Post for Blog mood Ah Well.
Song of the Day: Bartender by Natural High
On top of today’s wishlist: The letter N bear, skirt from Osixnine and good food!Things to give me in ‘angpao’ now: Money, good wishes, gossip, delicious and/or pretty tidbits.

Puerto Rico Nite (Update)

Today's Saturday, so this is the finalised lists. I must say, I am somewhat disappointed that p****e w***e p***s d*d n*t go as t**y t*****t it w***d a******y c********d t***r w*y i**o m****g up a*l k***s of s***f to e****e. That's just the l****t. Oh well. But that's just me (and just about every other sane, free-willed, definitely fighting-type kind of person out there).

On with it! We're going to have a blast! (no matter what)

POTLUCK LIST
1. (Joshua) Drinks (variety and volume is important)
2. (Mich) Junk food; think shiny, colourful packaging! Oh, and nuts!
3. (Sean, Bryan, Asyraf) KFC (since there'll be junk food and dessert, ease up just a little)
4. (Me) Desserts, which will not include junk food.

Note: Booze is not included in the list because we’ll all be sharing that one!

GUEST LIST
=) Me
=) Sean
=) Asyraf (Joshua’s designated kidna…I mean driver)
=) Joshua
=) Michelle
=) Bryan

BOOZE LIST
Smirnoff vodka
port wine (hopefully if I remember to go home and collect)

Other Information
Time: 7.30pm
Date: 29 Jan 2008
Place: H-G-2, Hepi Aprts, Seksyen 17 (just further down the Shell station)

I can Quote, too!

“So Mr So-and-So, I assume you have a plan?” she said with a devious glint in her eye. Her bright pink lipstick caught the light and sparkled like faux diamonds.

Raising an eyebrow, he replied with a cocky tone, “Of course I do.”

This is a normal scene in a day at work. Another day, another quote.

“You tanya I “What’s wrong?”” she said angrily as she gestured wildly.

“Sumpah there is nothing!” he tried in vain to defend himself.

She had seen it happen with her own eyes. It was going to be hard to convince her otherwise. She was already using the ‘you’ and ‘i’ for heaven’s sake! That is ALWAYS a dangerous sign.

Yes, I love all the scandals that goes on in the office. It’s just fantastic! And what you just read was only the tip of the iceberg of the TV3 2p.m local Malay drama show! There’s still the Thai (also drama) programme that comes on later and we’re eagerly anticipating the new one because the old series ended yesterday. Now that final episode was the BOMB! The guy SHOT his mother (she didn’t die to my disappointment) and yet got away scot-free even though the poor girl lost the baby in her womb because this same guy kicks her and pushes her to the ground (where she ter-whack her tummy against some steps...ooo! I was all aghast!).

This is karma. Because I’ve ignored the Television God for a long time, he’s now back in full force to make sure I fulfil my quota of television watching.

At any rate, it’s not that I’m doing nothing. I do go out and interview people, ask questions, etc. The whole she-bang if you will. It’s just that today is a particularly slow day and thus I am able to write an update (whoopee? Or whoopee! You decide).

I think, the next time someone tells me that news is being made every second (thus people in the news industry like us should be busy 24/7) I will merely smile and know better.

Sure, news is being made every second. But is the news worthy enough that every single person in the country should know of it? Is it even relevant? The launching of a new car might be bigger news to let’s say a motorcyclist crashing into a car but only escaping with minor injuries. Now if he died or his brain leaked out of.... Oh wait, that only applies if I was actually there to, er, record the event. Otherwise it’d just be a Bnama story.

Mood: Could be chippier
Song of the day: la-la-la-la-Sesame Street!
Today’s wishlist: The letter O and another pair of slacks.

PS I missed this but it’s on now (3pm) so I remembered the Indonesian Bawang Putih Bawang Merah soap. I’ve REALLY got to stop writing. This is absolutely RIVETING stuff I tell you.